If it hurts more than broken bones and you let it, you should know you owe yourself so many apologies.
My best friend from school once told me that “There is always separation in true love. It happens either by distance or death”. I very well remember thinking how could a 8th grader know this? How can she be sure? She was a year younger than all of us 8th graders but yet so very mature. That thought however has remained with me since.
We sat by the doors of our opposite dorm rooms at 12AM and spoke about the theory all night. And today 9 years later, I don’t think she remembers having that conversation with me but I surely know that the thought I held on to for years has come true.
I often wondered through the years if what she told me was true and if all the people in a long lasting relationship are even in true love? I mean how could they be? There is always a separation right? I even wondered if she even knew what she was saying that night. We were 8th graders and all we knew about relationships was the spelling and nothing more. I don’t know what it was about that night but what she said has had such an impact on my thoughts on love while I grew up. I was always scared of love in a way. I mean whats the point of finding true love when you can’t have it forever? but also what’s the point of having love that isn’t true? That didn’t stop me from having my fair share of boyfriends though and thinking each time that he was the one. None of them ended well. I’m single now! They all ended because they were immature relationships not because of the true love and separation theory.
One evening, a year and a half ago, when I least expected a man I can only describe if you met me walked into my life. Full of energy, humility and an amazing sense of humour. I knew instantly and quite weirdly that that moment was the start of something unexplainably magical. Weirdly because things like that only happen in the movies but yes it happened to me that evening. Two weeks later we were in love! Yes I had him, all to myself.
In the 1 year and 6 months of us being together the theory of love and separation crossed my mind several times giving me shivers because I knew what I was into. It was true love. But I didn’t want to say out loud, scared that a 8th grader’s theory would come true.
And it did on April 18th, 2017. While I write this I don’t have him anymore. He isn’t mine. The separation did happen but through distance and I’m glad each day the it wasn’t death.